Bulgari Watch

Six months later, my wife and I, after a series of misunderstandings, disagreements, and fights, decided to live separately. We have not communicated since then.

Yesterday, I received a letter from a nun at a Wat in Bangkok. She wrote to me that my ex-wife had approached her seeking guidance. As it turns out, it was her who had stolen my watch and sold it, to pay a gambling debt her brother had incurred. Through the nun, she is seeking my forgiveness, and, I suppose, a way to rekindle the relationship.

What should I do, Aunt Chanchira, forgive her and open the lines of communication? Go to the police? I do not want her to go to jail, but I would like to get my money back.

Sincerely,

A Confused Husband

Dear CH,

You are asking the wrong question. Appropriately expressed, it should be: how can I get the maid to forgive me? You have said your maid was with you for three years. Thus, she was a member of your family, and you were her benefactor, employer, and even her protector.

On all three counts, you have failed her. To show "The Good Manner," you must seek her forgiveness. She has probably lost money because of the decision to fire her and has lost face with friends and family.

This is where your wife comes in. If she wishes to repair the damage and she is sincere since she is enlisting the help of a Wat, she should take the responsibility of paying for at least part of the watch. This money, I suggest you offer to the maid as recompense. You may therefore be fortunate enough to enlist the assistance of the same nun who is in contact with you now.

Your wife will first make merit by donating to the Wat from her recompense funds. Both she and you should show the noble act by asking the nun if she would be willing to meet the maid, to deliver your apologies as well as a sum of money to compensate for losing her beloved and much appreciated job. Do not make another mistake of trust by expressing concern that the nun will not perform a task to which she has agreed.

In taking this path to righting an injustice, you, your wife, and your former employee will feel better, and your personal notion of decency would be righted.

Aunt Chanchira